WARNING: No sugar was coated in the drafting of this pet peeve list. Stuff is about get real.
1. Sitting on the floor. What, in the name of all that is good and holy, are couches for if everyone is just not going to use them? Don’t be the person in the group that’s all like, “Oh my gosh, guys! I love sitting on the cold, hard ground instead of the nice, comfortable, plush options all around me! How about we all sit on the floor?! That’s the best idea I’ve ever had! Since I enjoy being uncomfortable, I think everyone should join me and also be miserable for the entire activity!” Just no. I don’t like constantly worrying that my butt crack is providing the person behind me a beautiful view, and if you enjoy that type of thing, then just sit on the ground by yourself and shut up.
2. Group projects. Group projects are a teacher’s lazy way to improve failing students’ grades. Their logic goes like this: “Timmy is failing. Lucy is succeeding. Timmy would rather smoke weed than show up to class. Lucy would never miss a day because she cares way too much. What if I give Timmy and Lucy a project together? Lucy will do the whole project, and Timmy will get the same grade as her! That way, I don’t have to work with Timmy to keep him from failing, and if Lucy complains, I can tell her that this is the way real life works, so suck it.”
3. When people do better than me and then tell me how bad they did. I get it. People want to be humble about the grade they just got in calc, their game stats or their standardized test scores, but I don’t want to hear people complain about getting an ‘A-‘ on the test on which I just got a ‘B.’ I don’t want to hear people complain that they only scored 15 points in a basketball game when I spent all of regulation warming the bench. I don’t want to hear about people mad that they barely scored above the National Merit Scholarship threshold or how they don’t think they have the best shot at a particular ivy league. When I say good job, I don’t really want to hear how the person could have done better. If I also participated and didn’t do as well as the person I’m complimenting, then when they put themselves down, that’s basically an indirect diss on me.
4. Ignorant/hypocritical posts on Facebook. I don’t care what you believe, but don’t make outlandish posts that contradict your actions or don’t even make sense. I am about to go through my friend list on Facebook, and if the person has quoted Fox News as a legitimate source in the past month or criticized Americans for doing something that they themselves also do, I’m unfriending them. People who post stupid crap are the reason I made Twitter my primary social networking venue.
5. People who are all talk. I don’t want someone to tell me how great an idea is and then not act on it at all. The cliché is 100 percent accurate: Actions speak louder than words.
6. When people complain about how slow they ran their last 7 miles. Like, I can’t even run a mile, so please stop. This is an indirect to my marathon running mom, dad and grandma.
7. When people are against makeup. Usually these people have the most flawless skin. I really just want to give them a nice outbreak of bright red acne on their forehead and see if that changes their philosophy of natural beauty without a little assistance from concealer.
8. When I do well on the “easy” test. When I go the whole nine yards and study for an exam for hours, make flashcards, review my notes and actually get an ‘A’ on a test in one of my harder classes, I don’t want to hear everyone talking about how it was the easiest test of the year. Like, it wasn’t easy to me.
9. When people say they “don’t have time.” This only bothers me sometimes. I understand that people may not want to add a large time commitment to their already busy schedules. That’s fine. Not having time to add a sport or an activity to one’s plate is a valid concern. However, if a person has already signed up or agreed to do something, I don’t want to hear it. You took on this commitment, so stay up an hour later. Or manage your time! Everyone is busy, so plan ahead and make time. Do not make excuses.
10. Peer editing. I feel like English teachers are just being lazy when they make their classes peer edit. I don’t really enjoy a random peer that I’ve never met marking my essay up with their red pen. There is a reason teachers edit students’ work.