Obscure Quotes I Use in Everyday Life

I don’t watch very many movies or television shows, but when I do, the randomest lines find a home in my longterm memory. Below are some of the borrowed phrases I continue to sprinkle into my everyday speech long after I first viewed them on the big screen.

“And so, we shall go to war!” – Pirates of the Caribbean 3

Usage: When the mood in the room is tense, I like breaking the silence with this quote in my chipmunk voice.

“Just trust the bear.” – Alaska

Brief Explanation: Four years ago, my family went on vacation in Florida with some close family friends for a week. While we were there, my mom had the brilliant idea to have all 11 of us watch a family-friendly movie. “Alaska” fit the “family-friendly movie” bill. In it, two children search for their father in the Alaskan wilderness and almost starve to death while following their guide, a polar bear cub. The children are nearly rescued by a Native American, but he decides to let them continue their expedition without adequate supplies instead of returning them to civilization because the polar bear cub is the father’s spirit animal or something.

Usage: When it becomes blatantly obvious that the problem at hand cannot be solved, saying this phrase lightens the mood of those involved. It also confuses the heck out of those who haven’t had the pleasure of sitting through a two and a half hour movie about spirit animal searching.

“Well that escalated quickly.” – Anchorman

Usage: I say this when one minute we’re talking about how elephants have funny noses, and the next someone comes out as an elephant nose self-esteem activist that doesn’t appreciate the friendly banter.

“Oh banana, why’d you have to get all brooOOoown and mushy?” – Sid the Science Kid

Brief Explanation: My brothers watched Sid the Science Kid before school every morning for like three years. It was always the same episode about rotting bananas, but I still don’t know how it ends because we always left for school about halfway through.

Usage: When I see a brown and mushy banana, this comes to mind.

“I see you’re drinking 1%. Is that cuz you think you’re fat? Cuz you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.” – Napoleon Dynamite

Usage: When someone is drinking 1% milk, I say this in my Napoleon Dynamite voice. Usually, the milk drinker has never seen Napoleon Dynamite, and they just give me a puzzled frown because they don’t have good movie taste or a sense of humor.

“And they don’t think I know a butt load of crap about the gospel, but I do!” – Nacho Libre

Usage: Whenever my eight years of Christian education come in handy, I say this to avoid the “holier than thou” mentality that’s associated with random, deeply religious references.

“Ah, my old shool house.” – Mega Mind

Usage: When I drive by my school in the summer, I say this with nostalgia out the rolled down window, and then I step on the accelerator in my custom baby seal leather boots.

“No annoying sounds.” – Despicable Me

Usage: When my brothers are making annoying sounds, I growl this at them, and they respond by drumming on their cheeks and asking, “Does this count as annoying?”

“You’re 16, you go to school.” – Princess Protection Program

Brief Explanation: I didn’t even see this movie, but I did see the commercials. That line was on all of them.

Usage: I have to tell myself this some mornings when I would much rather lay in bed than go to zero hour.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” – Drake and Josh

Usage: When someone tells me to have a nice day, I remind them that I do what I want.

“I’m da first one on da new road!” – Cars

Usage: I make this Mater reference when I’m driving on a freshly laid stretch of asphalt.

“I’ve heard it both ways…” – Psych

Usage: I pronounce words incorrectly on a daily basis, and this is how I respond to the people who go out of their way to point out my error.

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